Would you like to know how to be more fun and playful when you interact with others?
If so, then you need to figure out how to banter.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
I’m about to share with you the exact same advice that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program.
They’ve seen great results with it so you know this stuff works.
First of all, what is banter and why is it important?
Bantering is a friendly exchange of teasing remarks in a good-humored way.
If you think about it, people who get along well tend to poke fun of each other in a light-hearted manner, right?
Once you learn how to be witty and quick, you’ll be able to deepen your connection with anybody you talk to.
When you know how to make people laugh, you’ll come across as an interesting and intelligent person as well.
That being said, here are 12 actionable tips that you can implement right away.
Alright, let’s get into it.
What You'll Learn In This Post
1. Have Positive Intentions
If you’re wondering how to banter, you have to put yourself in other people’s situations.
Take a moment to read the crowd and be empathetic.
In order to succeed socially, treat others the way you also want to be treated.
Before you say something, ask yourself if you would enjoy it if you were on the receiving end of the joke.
If not, then it’s best to remain quiet and keep things to yourself.
If you’re not catering your stories to whoever you’re talking to, then you might piss them off.
Improving your sense of humor should never be at the expense of others.
Avoid putting someone else down just to make yourself look better.
Remember, what goes around comes around.
You’ll get back exactly what you put out there.
That’s why you should have positive intentions when you interact with people.
Always leave them better than before you met them.
2. Stop Doubting Yourself
As a social skills coach, I’ve personally worked with a lot of engineers, programmers, and developers.
Because they lack awareness and experience socializing, most of them have had lots of awkward interactions in the past.
As a result, they’re full of self-doubt and feel inadequate when they communicate with others.
To avoid more embarrassing experiences, they tend to play it safe in social situations.
But if you want to learn how to be quick-witted, you have to figure out how to be less self-conscious.
The truth is, most people are not paying attention to you as much as you might assume.
Not to mention, everyone’s so focused on themselves anyway.
They don’t have time to worry about you.
That’s why it doesn’t matter if you say something silly.
I can assure you that most people would’ve forgotten about you at the end of the day.
That’s why you need to stop overanalyzing social situations.
When you do, you’ll feel more relaxed and act more like yourself when you’re talking to someone.
3. Write Down Random Ideas
Have you ever had an inspired thought while taking a shower or going for a walk?
If so, don’t let those good ideas go to waste.
I recommend you capture new insights that you come up with randomly.
This is especially a good thing to do if you don’t consider yourself a naturally clever person.
Having ideas written down will give you lots of material to work with when you create your routines.
To make this work, think of previous situations where you wanted to say something witty but you weren’t able to.
And then, imagine interesting ways that you could’ve responded.
My advice is for you to really take the time to come up with these stories in advance.
Don’t filter yourself and just write down the first thing that comes to mind.
I’m not going to lie, this is going to be challenging at first.
But the hard work you put in now will pay off during your next interaction.
You’ll train your brain to think of something clever to say when you find yourself in the same situation in the future.
As a result, you’ll be less likely to freeze up since you wouldn’t be caught off guard.
The more prepared you are, the more comfortable you’ll feel in any social situation.
If you want to develop your wit much faster, I recommend you take improv classes as well.
It’ll teach you to loosen up and think quickly on your feet.
As a result, you’ll be able to come up with good comebacks much easier the next time you talk to someone.
4. Make Small Talk First
Personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea to banter with someone you don’t know well yet.
You just have no idea who they are and what they’re all about.
That’s why it’s best to take things slow in the beginning.
This is where making small talk comes into play.
When you meet someone for the first time, you’ll want to focus on exchanging small pleasantries first.
If you imagine great conversations as a ladder, making small talk are the first few rungs.
You can’t really skip them because they’re necessary to get you to the next level.
Making small talk is also a good way to gather information and learn more about the person you’re chatting with.
When in doubt, take the time to observe the situation you’re in and what topics are being discussed.
That way, you can determine which direction you want the conversation to go.
As you can see, making small talk is just a means to an end.
The more you know your audience, the easier it’ll be for you to calibrate your sense of humor.
By doing so, people will feel good when they’re around you and they’ll enjoy your company more.
5. Work On Your Delivery
Remember, the majority of your communication is non-verbal.
It’s not just what you say but how you say it matters too.
If you want to learn how to banter, you need to work on your delivery.
If not, then people might think you’re rude and insensitive.
That being said, always maintain a calm tone and friendly voice when you speak.
Whatever you do, avoid yelling, swearing, or name-calling at all costs.
You’ll want to make it obvious to whoever you’re talking to that you’re just joking around.
Also, have a more open body language by smiling, maintaining proper eye contact, and keeping your arms to your side.
Keep in mind that nobody is good at anything when they’re just starting out.
This is especially true if you’re still trying to figure out how to be witty and quick.
Even though you mean well, sometimes you’ll say something annoying by accident.
When you do offend someone, offer a sincere apology right away.
Don’t be defensive, say sorry and tell them you didn’t mean it.
Once you’ve learned your lesson, just brush it off and move on.
6. Be A Student
What better way to learn to be funny than from those who do it professionally.
If you’re wondering how to banter, be a student and observe what’s already working.
I recommend you spend some time watching more comedy shows, movies and sitcoms.
When you do, pay attention to the material, timing, and delivery of the joke.
Take the time to analyze something that made you laugh.
And then, do your best to integrate what you learned during your next interaction.
It’s also worth mentioning that some people are just naturally funny.
If you have friends that have a great sense of humor, try to be around them as much as you can.
Remember, you can’t help but be influenced by those who you spend time with frequently.
Over time, you’ll mimic the way they think and how they do things.
Eventually, their sense of humor will rub off on you and you’ll become a funnier person as well.
7. Always Be Respectful
Remember, bantering with others is supposed to be an enjoyable experience.
If you want to know how to be witty and funny, don’t be mean and poke fun at people’s insecurities.
Also, stay away from touchy subjects like religion, politics, sex, and race.
Keep in mind that a lot of people feel very strongly about those topics.
Things can get heated up real fast if you push the wrong button accidentally.
You don’t want to get into an argument about something controversial.
Again, be light-hearted during your discussions and always be respectful.
8. Reference Something You Said Before
Call back humor is one of my favorite ways to make others laugh.
I tend to do this a lot with people that I’ve known for a while.
Since we have a lot of shared experiences, it’s easy to make references to previous events and conversations that we’ve had.
If you want, you can still make this type of humor work with someone that you just met.
All you have to do is to mention something that you said before that got a laugh.
Remember, it’s going to be hard to give clever comebacks when you’re not in the moment.
If you want to know how to banter, you need to get out of your head and be more present.
Catch yourself when you’re ruminating and remind yourself to slow down your breathing.
By doing so, you’ll be able to relax your body and bring yourself back to your current situation.
As a result, you’ll be able to recall relevant information a lot quicker.
Not to mention, it’s a lot easier to come up with the right things to say when you’re actually listening.
9. Ask Good Questions
It’ll be hard to figure out how to banter if you tend to have awkward silences during your interactions.
That’s why you need to know how to hold a conversation.
One of the best ways to do that is to ask open-ended questions.
These are questions that require more than a one-word answer.
For example, instead of asking “do you like reading books?” you can ask “what do you do for fun?”
This will encourage the person you’re chatting with to keep talking about themselves.
The more information you have to work with, the easier it’ll be for you to figure out how to keep a conversation going.
As a result, you’ll have a better chance of adding some witty comments during your interaction.
10. Stop Being So Serious
Growing up in a traditional Asian family, having a sense of humor didn’t come naturally to me.
In fact, the majority of conversations that I had with my parents revolved around academic and career success.
If you can relate to that and you’re wondering how to banter, stop being so serious all the time.
You need to loosen up if you want to be able to tease others in a playful way.
Again, this is not about putting people down to make yourself feel good.
It’s about being able to have witty comebacks but with positive intentions.
Like I said earlier, just think of how you would make fun of your close friends.
Use that same mindset during your interactions with others.
11. Know When To Stop
Have you ever been around someone who’s always making jokes?
They’re really funny at first but they just keep going and then it becomes too much?
If you want to learn how to banter, you have to know when to stop.
In this case, less is always more.
That’s why attempting to be witty all the time can backfire on you.
You’ll look like you’re trying way too hard for people to like you.
What you’ll want to do is to think of humor as just seasoning for your meal.
You’ll want to sprinkle enough just to add some flavor.
You don’t want to use it too much.
Otherwise, it becomes overwhelming.
12. Be Willing To Make Mistakes
If you want to figure out how to banter with others, you have to be courageous.
You can’t keep playing it safe and stay in your comfort zone.
In fact, you have to be willing to say and do things that may break social norms.
The key here is to let go of any attachment to the outcome.
Just view this whole process like you’re learning an instrument or playing a new sport, such as the ones that can bet on sites like 제왕카지노.
That way, you’ll keep an open mind and be a lot more willing to make mistakes.
When you’re just starting out, not all your comebacks are going to get a laugh.
When that happens, don’t make a big deal about it.
Have some self-compassion and don’t beat yourself up mentally.
Just keep practicing and don’t take anything personally.
Again, the more risk you’re willing to take, the faster you’ll develop your wit.
And when you do, you’ll be able to flirt better, make others laugh, and raise your status in any group.
This is definitely a skill worth learning so make sure you keep at it.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering how to banter, I just shared with you my best tips.
Feel free to go through them again and implement them as much as you can.
If you are shy and technically skilled and you want to know how to approach and talk to anybody, remember to download your free social confidence cheat sheet right away.
If you’re you’re tired of struggling socially and you want to learn more about our social skills coaching program, fill out an application today and let’s connect.
And now, let’s turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Are you going to work on your delivery or on asking good questions?
Send me a message on Instagram and let me know.